Tonight I’m going to tell you all about the unfortunate event that triggered my anxiety and changed my life forever.
When I was 18, I was sick of being single so I downloaded Tinder. Yes. Tinder. Lord knows I should’ve known what I was getting myself into, but I wanted to take that chance. I met this guy, and for a while, things were good. We were watching movies on my couch in my bedroom; and he wanted to move to the bed, which I was not totally comfortable with, but I did it because he knew I wasn’t ready to have sex yet. Or so I thought.
I knew things were going wrong when I felt him starting to take off my clothes. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t stop. This was not how I would picture losing my virginity. I’m not going to go into much detail, but I remember it clearly. I remember how he said “I hope you won’t regret it” after he sexually assaulted me.
I should have forced him off of me but he didn’t budge when I tried to get out from under him.
I went to the doctor the next day because I was a mess. I had 2 pregnancy tests done, I had testing done for everything you could possibly think of, and thank god everything came back negative.
It was the rape that skyrocketed the anxiety I didn’t know I had. Since then, I’ve been on medications, which have helped more often than not.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not writing this to get attention. I’m writing this to follow in Mark’s footsteps, and release my personal story, so that you, our readers, know you’re not alone.